Navigating the Holidays: A Guide on How to Support a Loved One with an Eating Disorder
The holiday season is a time for joy, festivities, and togetherness, but it can also be a rough time for many people, for a multitude of reasons. During this season, food is an integral part of our gatherings and for individuals grappling with eating disorders, this time of year can pose unique challenges that may exacerbate their struggles.
As a friend or family member, we want to be there for our loved ones, so it’s crucial to provide unwavering support and understanding during this period. In this guide, we will explore practical ways to support a loved one with an eating disorder during the holidays, fostering an environment that promotes healing and connection.
Understanding Eating Disorders:
Before delving into specific strategies, it’s essential to grasp the nature of eating disorders. Anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge-eating disorder, and other related conditions are complex mental health issues. These disorders often stem from a combination of genetic, biological, psychological, and environmental factors.
Individuals with eating disorders may experience intense preoccupations with food, body weight, and shape, leading to harmful behaviors and negative impacts on physical and mental well-being.
The more you educate yourself about eating disorders, the better equipped you will be to provide empathetic and informed support for your loved ones.
The following simple guide will help you confidently navigate interactions and provide you with how you can be an active supporter to a loved one struggling with an eating disorder during the holidays.
Focus On Your Relationships With Other People, Not Appearances
Given our society’s emphasis on weight and attributing weight loss to “success,” it can be very tempting to give someone (what we perceive to be) a compliment by letting them know that we think they’ve lost weight. It’s even more tempting to comment on one’s own weight positively or negatively.
All of these can be very triggering to someone in recovery from an eating disorder and it can feel like people only see them as a body rather than a whole person with thoughts and feelings.
Instead of immediately commenting on someone’s appearance (even a simple “You look great!” can be potentially triggering to someone with an eating disorder), ask them about things going on in their life like:
- How is their novel coming?
- What project are they starting on their house next?
- Congratulate them on their promotion
However, if you simply must comment on something appearance-wise, choose something they have full control over, like their hairstyle or earrings. There’s so much more to someone than how they look on any given day, including a holiday.
Remember That Food Has No Moral Value
There are no “bad” foods. Some foods have different nutritional value than others, but you are not “being bad today” by having a couple of Christmas cookies.
Food is food! Comments about foods being good or bad can lead to someone in recovery from an eating disorder to have urges to restrict or binge.
Instead of comments about diets or whether or not you should have a second helping of the macaroni, try to shift your conversation towards your gratitude for being with one another.
At the end of the day, your loved ones will not remember if you took one or two slices of pumpkin pie, but they will remember if you took the time to really be present.
Eyes On Your Own Plate
So many of us want to be helpful to our loved ones, but it is very important to remember that comments about how much or little someone is eating is not helpful, and could in fact be harmful.
Some people with eating disorders may have issues with textures and thus might avoid certain vegetables. Others may be challenging their own negative food talk by letting themselves have a second slice of pie!
It’s important to not compare, internally or externally, how much or little someone is eating compared to you. You don’t know their internal struggles with food, or how much or little they ate before coming to this event.
It’s also not helpful for you to make comments to yourself about how much or little you “should” be eating compared to those around you. Everyone has their own journey, including you!
Let Your Loved One Lead The Conversation About Treatment
If a loved one is receiving treatment for an eating disorder, you may be curious about what that entails or what their progress is.
Many individuals in recovery from an eating disorder are happy to share with others, but others may not be due to struggling with the idea of being in treatment in the first place.
If you know that a loved one is actively receiving treatment for an eating disorder, you don’t have to completely avoid the subject and pretend like you don’t know. What’s best is to let your loved one lead the conversation and allow them to share as much or as little as they feel comfortable with. They will really appreciate the time and care you spend in addressing uncomfortable topics without pushing too hard.
The Holidays And Beyond
All in all, the holidays can be a very stressful time with a lot of social obligations and expectations, and a lot of these events are centered around food. This can make these events especially difficult to navigate for those with eating disorders. Supporting a loved one with an eating disorder during the holidays requires a thoughtful and compassionate approach. If we surround those struggling with unconditional love and acceptance while keeping these four points in mind, it will make the holidays a lot less stressful for everyone involved.
By prioritizing open communication, understanding the nature of eating disorders, and implementing practical strategies, you can contribute to creating a supportive environment.
Remember, your role is that of a pillar of strength and encouragement, but if you find that you need more structured guidance to be a long-time support to your loved one through their treatment, we are here to help.
Our providers not only provide services to those progressing through their treatment, but we also can provide specific guidance to the families and supporters of those who are on their journey to healing. We can provide facilitated sessions that empower you as an advocate and give you tools that will help sustain you as a long-time supporter through the healing process.
Visit our About tab to read our provider bios to see if there is a provider that you would like to work with. If you are unsure which provider would be the best fit, our administrative support team can assist in matching you with a provider that is best suited to your needs. Visit our Contact page today to get started with your journey.
