Beating the Back-to-School Jitters

Going back to school after a long break can bring on some major stress and anxiety for kids. Back-to-school anxiety and stress is pretty typical, and expected, however, parents can still help kids with beating the back-to-school jitters.

I remember the days leading up to the first day of school felt like a mixed bag of feelings: Did I have the coolest and newest supplies? Was my outfit just right? Were my teachers going to be nice? Would I be accepted? Admittedly, I’ve long since stopped worrying about all of those things in my adult years, but this self-acceptance didn’t develop until my college years and beyond.

While what we experienced as kids may have not been termed “anxiety” then, but that’s exactly what it was. Anxiety around going back to school can be due to so many different things. For kids beginning school for the first time, it’s a general fear of the unknown. This is a big year of transition from those little kid years, into a structured routine and entrance into the big kid years.

For returning kids, anxiety may stem from bullies, or the thought of having to go through being bullied again, fear of not being accepted, or their appearances.

In 2023, we are seeing lots of narratives shift to more body acceptance and body positivity, but school aged kids still remain very focused on appearance and acceptance. Inherently, kids just want to feel like they belong, so they may worry that they’ll have a hard time making friends, or that their friends from last year no longer want to be friends with them. Kids who are experiencing developmental changes may feel sensitive about their weight, acne, or developing body parts.

Beyond the social components, academically driven students can experience anxiety from harder work loads, the stress of AP and honors classes (or not being accepted into them), and compounding extracurricular activities like sports and clubs.

No matter the source, back-to-school anxiety is typical, and while parents may expect a level of difficulty transitioning back into the school routing, it is important to be aware of the signs of anxiety in order to know when to intervene and how we can set kids up for success before the first bell rings.

Symptoms of Anxiety

Signs of anxiety in your child or children can include:

Being more clingy than normal,
Complaining of stomach aches,
Changes in eating or sleeping habits,
Discussing negative thoughts or worries,
Irritability,
Unexplained crying,
Difficulty focusing.

If a child’s anxiety lasts longer than two weeks or interferes with their ability to function in everyday life, it is important to contact a doctor, or reach out to a mental health professional to determine if the child’s symptoms align with an anxiety disorder.

Back-to-school Tips for Stress and Anxiety

Encourage open conversation. Sometimes as parents, we just simply have to ask! Talk to your kids about what they are feeling and what is causing them to feel that way. Our main goal with open communication is to listen and validate feelings. It’s easy to want to be the fixer, but conversation should be more about letting our kids explore those feelings, only helping to reframe negative or anxious thoughts.
Don’t get stuck talking about the negatives! Together, point out all the things that your kids can look forward to like: spending time with friends, field trips, new school clothes or supplies, or their favorite after school clubs.
Assure your child that they are not the only ones. To some degree, most if not all kids will feel anxious about returning to school. This will help avoid isolation in that feeling. This is also a great opportunity for you as the parent or guardian to share your own experiences and feelings of when you were younger and stressed over a new school year. Commonality creates connection!
Get prepared! Stay ahead of schedule when it comes to back-to-school prep. Work to get your kids back on a school-time schedule by shifting bedtimes (see our Back-to-School Sleep Transitions Blog for help), talk about school lunches or meal prep ideas for kiddos taking their lunch, and declutter study and homework spaces.These steps will help your child(ren) feel in control, which can relieve some of that anxiety.
Attend your school’s open house. This gets kids physically into the school environment. This is a great way to show new kids the layout of the school and introduce them to teachers and staff who will be familiar faces. Allow your kids to ask lots of questions as this will help eliminate that feeling of the unknown, because they can know what to expect by seeing it ahead of time.
Make a playdate! For younger kids, making friends is a big source of anxiety. Arrange some playdates to help strengthen friendships and forge new ones before the start of school. This is a confidence booster, because your child may feel that they have a buddy or someone to turn to as a safe person in class if that anxiety kicks in.

Parents, Breathe!

Back-to-school anxiety not only impacts the kids but parents too! There are so many feelings between yourself and your kids, that sometimes we bear the mental load too much. It is essential for you to keep your own anxieties at bay, and find ways to relax during this chaotic time. Focusing on your overall wellness and stress management such as: getting enough sleep, exercising, setting aside time for self-care, and eating are great ways to model for your kids how you can decrease anxiety and stress to make the transition back to school easier.

We Can Help!

Sometimes life is just challenging and as parents we have to know when it’s time for more support. Our team has a variety of providers that can allow your child and your family to have the space to process feelings judgment free, and to help overcome and cope with the back-to-school jitters. Check out our provider bios on our about page and contact us if you have any questions, or are ready to make an appointment.