Raise your hand if your Amazon driver knows you by name at this point in December—ours are certainly up! It is hard to believe that the holiday season is upon us, and I don’t know about you, but it snuck up behind us fast!

This year has arguably been shockingly harder than the last, so like many of us, we are working tirelessly to make this holiday season as magical and warm and cozy as we can, because it feels like the “Magic Holiday Spirit” is at an all-time low. But all the hard work it takes to make the cookies, decorate the house, get the gifts wrapped that you hope will be delivered in time, and move that darn elf, you start to feel depleted, frazzled, and stressed.

I’m not saying that you don’t love doing the things above—we love them too or else we wouldn’t do it! —but when that calendar has something on it for every day during December with little time to just be with your family without having the rush to the next activity, it may be time to take a step back and simplify. That doesn’t mean that you must cut everything out, but we have become so accustomed to always saying “yes”, that we forget that there is equal, and sometimes more value, in saying “no.”

Did anyone ever say to you as a kid “it’s the simple things in life that bring you the most joy”? I’m betting you have heard someone say it to you, and that you probably responded with an eye roll and a “yeah, sure/ok” or some variation of that. There is something about that saying that doesn’t hit home until you are quite literally in your own bustling home with life pulling you in a thousand different directions.

So how exactly do we scale back without feeling like we are sacrificing the magic of the holidays?

1. Look at the calendar and find events that you can live without doing. This is hard because we can always justify why each thing is important, but ask yourself, is this going to create a lifelong memory for our family, or is it just a filler activity that you can pass on? Once you have taken some things off of the calendar, choose a simple activity that you can do with just your family, so you can truly be present in that moment together.
2. Scale back on the spending. This looks different for every person, and every family, but regardless of that, the socioeconomic culture has developed into a “spend spend spend” mentality. This is especially true around the holidays. Set clear budget expectations for yourself and your family so you don’t find yourself stressed about how much is being spent on material things (like that toy they will only play with for probably a week). Remember: time spent together is more valuable than any currency in the world.
3. Spread kindness. Historically when we do something nice for someone, it often triggers the receiver to extend that kindness to someone else. It also just creates a warm fuzzy feeling to know that you made someone smile, right? It is after all, the season of giving, but I think somewhere along the way we turned that into “the season of just giving to each other” and not those around us who may truly benefit from a kind gesture. I know we said take something off the calendar, but volunteer opportunities can be the foundation for great conversations and are a hands-on opportunity to find gratitude within our own lives.

However you trim your tree of holiday spirit, just know that you have the power to fill it with as much or as little as you desire. If you are stressed, we do encourage you to explore ways to make things easier and simpler, to truly be able to slow down and experience the joy of this season.