This isn’t just a blog for women, so keep reading.

This also isn’t a blog that seeks to burn some ideas so other imbalanced perspectives can take charge.

This IS a blog about the importance of equality, and how we must find this balance within ourselves, before coming forward with challenging, yet thought provoking ideas to move women forward.

Let’s start with a small series of prompts that will help setup what this inner work looks like:

• Those of us who are and identify as women, what does it mean to be a woman?
• Those of us aren’t or don’t identify as women, what makes women important?
• What is something you can do to feel empowered as a woman?
• What is something you can do to support women’s equality

I encourage you to answer those questions thoughtfully and honestly. Write your answers down and visualize your thought patterns, so you can fully understand the framework of your perspectives concerning this topic.

Now ask yourself:

• Am I surprised by my answers?
• What constructs have influenced my thoughts about women’s equality? (think about how you were raised, have you clung to those beliefs because that’s all you knew?)
• If my thoughts show an obvious inequality towards women, am I willing to learn and change my perspective?

To demand equality on the outside, we must understand what that means for us personally and how/why we feel the way that we do about it.

It is long since apparent that there have been disparities between men and women in the workplace for decades. We are SLOWLY seeing a little bit of progress as more and more women are holding higher office positions, but it’s something that still comes with an astonishing amount of pushback.

According to Grant Thornton, an organization that tracks the global progress of women in senior management, reports that in 2021, 26% of all CEO’s and managing directors were women, compared to on 15% in 2019.

Now maybe you’re thinking, woah, what a great improvement! And to see progress like that, it’s something that should be celebrated, but those numbers are still…well, not too exciting if you ask me.

This begs me to wonder why women continue to have to claw their way into higher positions in the workforce, despite having incredible portfolios that demonstrate leadership ability, innovative approaches to business, managerial skill with high interpersonal remarks among peers…etc.

It doesn’t take me long to figure it out. I’ll preface this next thought with this: I know that social media only tells so much of a story. But the staggering number of recurring themes that I keep seeing tell me that story isn’t far from the stark realities women are now facing.

I read posts in a women’s career group over and over again asking how other women manage it all. The full-time job, the housework, the kids, the school schedules, the pressing deadlines, the work trips, the list goes on. And recently (and repeatedly) I’m reading that women were faced with no choice but to either drastically scale back to part-time hours (losing benefits) or to leave the workforce completely.

These are women who have dedicated 10-15+ years in their industries, and some of whom have higher earnings than their spouses, yet they are the ones who must make these sacrifices.

If that doesn’t put a pit in your stomach, then I don’t know what will.

I’ll add that this is more than just “the responsibility of having kids” because we all know how men are lauded with praise when they leave the office early to make the kids soccer game. Or they take a Friday off to have a long weekend with their family apple picking in the mountains. You get the idea.

Now, men should be lauded for those things. Why? Because that means they value the responsibility of being a present, involved parent and spouse. But women should be lauded for that too instead of it being viewed that they don’t take their jobs/careers seriously.

Let us also acknowledge women who do not have children (whether by choice or not) still find themselves in these impossible positions where they are judged for not wanting a family, or they are disproportionately given a workload under the guise that because they don’t have a family, they have no reason not to be able to handle it.

No wonder women feel like they are swimming in the murky waters of “damned if I do, damned if I don’t”

This issue is less of women, and those who identify as women, needing to work harder, and more that societal barriers to success are still very much at play today. But before we can begin to advocate for change, we must do the inner work to make sure we value equity and equality within ourselves.

It’s taking a step back to see what we are and aren’t doing to support the equality of the women around us, and what we need to be doing on a smaller scale (read, in the home) to promote it.

The redistribution of power is a great place to start:

• In your personal life, what are you doing to balance the scale of responsibility?
• What duties can you feasibly take from your partner/spouse to make the home/life management (with or without kids) more equal
• What boundaries are you willing to put on your job to maximize your efforts?

It’s not like women are demanding men to give it all up and hand the world to us. We want to be seen and valued beyond the sitcoms of the 50s and 60s that demonstrated what the home was “supposed to look like”.

We have the autonomy in our families to create a life of support and balance for one another, recognizing the shifts and flexibility that must come with it. Just because you were raised to believe that a woman’s place is in the home, doesn’t mean your ideals have to remain as such.

Changing perspectives is hard, especially when they are ingrained parts of our being, that’s why equality has to start with this deep work so we can adequately and more effectively work towards change. It’s one thing to just say “well I do support women’s equality.” It’s another to be a voice for that change.

That goes for women too.

As women we are all wanting to be the best we can be for our children, our parents, our spouses/partners, but if we can’t value and empower each other, we are the antithesis of this movement. These ideas are not just directed to our male counterparts, but rather challenges for us all.

If you find yourself with implicit biases towards women, regardless of your gender and gender identity, then you have work to do.

Calming Waters Counseling Services is welcoming of all genders, gender/sexual identities, colors, creeds, and religions. We are committed to seeing people as people, by allowing you time and space to explore and discover who and why you are, free of judgment and shame. Need help with the hard discussions? We are here and ready when you are.